As a child I knew I would create great change in my own path...29:11 I'd marry my high school sweetheart we'd have a big family and a place to call home my children would only hear my mothers drunken stories of a horrid childhood with my own sober voice. They would NEVER take a blow to any part of their body they wold NEVER be spoken to as if they had no rights...this was my first promise to God my children first ALWAYS zero tolerance for any form of domestic violence...at the age of 18 I took the last blow to my head thankful it wasn't to late. If I did need proof that my God is real that would be it as every blow I took should have killed me!This was only the beginning of my journey along a dark cursed path it would seem as if I were plagued from birth as I still wear the name of another man that's not my father death of my blood father and my mothers broken spirit...this is all I know of family the gift of the surrogate seed if not for the many families outside my own that filled just the right void at just the right time keeping my passion for change alive. Of course my life doesn't work out as I planned it as a child...this is my legacy of a single moms work shirt inspired by Leslie and Casey2012...two pink butterflies white ribbon of sackcloth violence against women these girls were both beautiful young and hard working single moms a story I know to well.I feel the need to include them in my story because they justify my insisting on zero abuse of any kind.I will welcome any and all who come to me with good intent my nest is full of surrogates if you ruffle the feathers in my open nest be prepared to fight for your life if that's what it takes to remove the conflict that's ruffling my feathers. In the end they are true witnesses to my character no matter how extreme my behavior gets no matter how dark or unknown the path ahead may seem if it keeps the abuse away from my children so be it. My high school sweetheart beat me up I've played so many head games I've gotten good at it...I most recently sent my mother packing with a domestic violence charge she is a mean selfish alcholic that refuses to change and exhausted every chance I'm willing to give her for the first time in 45 years I'm done with my mother. you can't save one who doesn't want to be saved she only wants someone to blame and full attention...she had literally consumed me when that day happened!
now for the men in my life there are none!I had only a few good experiences in my path before I decided I am better off alone. I could tell that story in one short bog but that's another day today is about why what have I accomplished and I struggle to answer those questions and more.I have separated my existence into two parts material and spiritual otherwise I would have crumbled along time ago. Materially I am bankrupt spiritually I empty out my material nest keeping my promise to God my children ...always come first.
A mother to her only daughter...numbers 30:12...you are worthy and God will forgive you.
A mother to her boys...numbers 32:23...your sin will surely find you out respect your wife and children and expect the same in return.
This is my final testimony as a single mom the revision to that childhood dream is taking me to other places that are in my heart. Religion?...I follow Christ with a passion for his truth.This is where my heart is taking me because God exposed the important meaning of ones right to have a place to exist without fear of being conquered .
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