Moms kitchen table

A place to gather...anyone and everyone who loved my mother sat at her kitchen table. I often wondered why she even had a livingroom? No one sat in there? We'd gather at her table and drink her iced tea I'm a pepper fan but at her table only her tea would do. She too was a single mother with no support or resource. Her story is one I've been paying attention to my whole life one I will continue to tell well after she is gone. To my mother I love you your voice will carry on to save lives as shine down put it through your endevours you will live forever!

Sisters

I come from a history of nothingness my mother had 3 sisters none were present I have 3 sisters only one has been a true sister with all her faults there were greater goods that made her a true sister. Now she is gone I have none I was given only one daughter she's always wanted a sister but never had one?...I'm now blessed with two grand daughters whom I can inspire to be true to each other which only means you accept all the good and the bad you love and stick together.

Technology Awareness

Stalking...evasdropping?
The abuser has evolved he now knows he can't leave visible marks on his victim so he takes special care to make sure no one knows the truth. I've dealt with this on many different levels as birth to 18 I took many blows to my head that should have taken me down but I always got back up no one knew no one cared and the story is ignored for the sake of peace in my family.
Now my experience with a stalker if this man gets violent his game is over and he knows it! Technology is the only logical explanation for how he dose what he dose? It's taken some time to come out of denial of this reality that's happening to me. Have you ever felt someone watching you as you turn to catch them they look away as if they were never looking? Did you ever wonder if you didn't see them would you still feel them watching? What if it continued on with bad intent? Over time you're left feeling sick inside. What if they're not watching but rather listening or even worse both? Leaving crazy clues to ensure you don't forget their presence and control in your life. It no longer matters if I ever catch my stalker the technology is real and it needs exposure and awareness. I now know I'm not alone there are many walking this endless path. Without proper resource and support it has no real end. The nature of the circumstances keep the stalker safe from exposure he is in my shadow if I do by chance catch someone it won't be him. It's all a head game he is the source unless I catch him the vicious cycle will continue on without limits. There are ways to fight back but I don't have the resource or support I need to pursue. For instance? A bug detector would be my only real hope of catching him in the act of evasdropping and it's still not a crime without bodily harm.
There are many ways to track another person...gps will track their movement ll you need is a cell phone # and wait for an outgoing call which included voicemail. Listening devices? Both battery and electric devices require a microphone in area you wish to listen to. Electric is run off existing power and requires a lot of work to install? Battery operated is quick but requires a battery pack that only last 36 to 48 hours before it needs new batteries? It must be close to the microphone but easily hidden? Its possible to bug everything from a water glass to an outlet! Then there's the bionic ear this device has no limits! It requires no evidence in the area of concern it can be used everywhere the person chooses to use it at home work or in route! And then there's video I have photo evidence of this suspicion which is where it began to come together to make sense. Aug.1,04 strange wholes in ceiling of all three bedrooms our room had a plastic tube coming from it.
Almost 14 years! I sometimes pray for phyiscal violence so it will end. He terrorizes me with his sneaky head games staying just far enough away so I'm the only witness. I have two other witnesses my two boys whom I was forced to raise alone under these circumstances. Now they are older it's just me! On few occasions he will do something that's obvious to everyone and can't be explained away but not often. I pray my story somehow creates awareness to this technology it's all I have left. I don't know what the solutions are to prevent this crime but we must first recognize it as a crime punishable by law. Why dose phyiscal violence have to happen? If our goal is to save lives then wouldn't it make sense to prevent this kind of behavior? There are many ways to hurt a person and never make a personal contact. The beast of a mans mouth if he is brave enough to say it he should be prepared to suffer a consequence!

The gypsy trail

Soon my nest will empty out will I ever settle down in one place? For so long I've wanted stability of not moving every year or so! I drag my kids from place to place just like my mother did. Only I prayed for a place to call home I don't think my mother cared. Well I lost that battle my nest empties out and I am homeless am I destined to be a gypsy or will God put me in one place so I can be a grandma? I feel I've been robbed of motherhood I did the best I could but couldn't keep up! I still pray for stability so I can be a grandma but if the plan is to be a gypsy I will do something good with it. Maybe I will travel reach out to others in need of moral support? Maybe I'll do a little of both how else might my grandchildren carry on such a great legacy teach them to care for others save lives...the gypsy trail dosent sound so scary when you put it like that it could be rather rewarding! Anyway it doesnt matter I trust God.amen.

Broken families

My big sister commuted suicide on the fourth of July! What an impact this is having in my life as the only reason I'm here to speak for both of us is because I fear I won't do it right and become a burden for those who love me. If I were successful it would be done with only a recovery to deal with. If I am not then suddenly everyone who loves me would feel the need to watch me?
God I'm so sorry I love and miss knowing she's only a county away already it feels like forever! What I've learned is all 5 of us are suicidal because our mother raised us that way. Dawn is the first to succeed but not the only one to try and/or desire. We have been broken for so long can we put our family in a good place can we restore the bonds that will defeat the sackcloth that makes us all want to die sometimes? In the name of my sister and everything she taught me I want her children in my life. She taught me to draw write sing dance and even to party a little most of that I learned on my own. Her birthday is coming soon she will be 49 on 7-17 so young I believe God takes young people with great purpose in mind if he puts death on display he will use it for a greater good?..the 717 holds a strong but mysterious place in my life which is a whole new story? My God has had my attention now for over 5 years with many clues that say its a reminder of reassurance of the nightmare of a life path I've had to endure? I'm still not sure where my sister will fit in her death isn't a surprise without doubt she has a lot of unfinished business and I seem to have the ability and desire to be a vessel for the angel whispers unfinished business. Big things will soon happen in my life of the spiritual nature the supernatural experience of Gods true presence a merging of our material world and his habitat which I believe will be in the dream lore?
I don't want to stray to far from the topic of this story my sisters suicide! She had no one to care enough to keep her story alive she has a daughter who I hope either knows the whole story of her mothers sackcloth or she will let me tell her so she may know why her mother was the person she was. Dawn was angry although I had to distance myself I understood every emotion and loved her anyway! We can't save our loved ones unless they want to be saved.RIP Drucilla Dawn Sutphin I love you!

Domestic violence defense?

When common laws fail us we do what we must to survive. This story hits close to home for me because I am witness to why and how a mother might go this far to protect her family? My exposure to this movie at such a young age as I live through it myself made a strong impact as my children are not witness to the extremes in this kind of violence. Although we've come along way since this movie so much needs to be done! There are mothers in hiding with their children living in fear of an abuser women and children die at the hand of one whose suppose to love and care...no one should have to live in fear of another ever not even one!
Zero tolerance for domestic violence of any kind. Stories like this support my great passion for this cause of action if this makes me the criminal so be it I stand firm ready for the pig who believes I'm harmless because I am patient when in fact it's my patience that will defeat him!

Abstinence...maiden Ferguson

in retrospect 45 years...I decided to give myself a break so I can claim all my abstinence 9+ years of Clinton law abstinence!Meaning I tried once and failed 6+ consistent no contact at all.
I grew up in a bad area fighting for my right to be a nice girl why should a man be faithful to me when the girl next door will do all the things I won't for a 5 dollar rock? why should he stay with me if the girl next door is a dancer who will support him and his bad habits?Why should he stay with me if I won't let him bully talk down to hit push even punch?...I have encountered this and more so I say is there a better choice outside abstinence? My greatest reason my children how can I teach them a better way if I don't set the examples that show them the way? When I was a little girl I saw myself with one man my whole life I saw myself in a home with lots of kids!At the age of 28 I tied my tubes under duress as I will not bring another fatherless child into this cruel world that ignores them!This was the beginning of when I shut down now that I can't have children I don't want sex and I don't need a man.Although my example did more harm than good with my daughter my boys have both fulfilled my greatest wish for them respect and expect the same!I have no regrets and for the most part I don't even get lonely anymore which is sometimes scary but I know in my heart if there is a soul mate for me he will find me when I least expect it.For now it's my greatest example not just for my family but anyone in need.By taking the sex out of my view of a man I can now walk a moment in his shoes and even find compassion where there is so much anger!I am abstinent because I love the under dog I always have and still do I see myself with a man who walked a path like mine and like me lived long enough to talk about it.I guess I wait for the under dog who digs his way back to the top!

My Brother...

To those who weren't there?...when my mother tormented him because our father was buried on his birthday she turned his day into her day and slowly ripped away at his spirit...when she left him homeless with 10 dollars and promises that she would return 14 he's on the streets I am homeless as well so all I can do is let him hang out with me during the day at night I'd cry for hours knowing he was homeless...when we all  5 chased mom around the house trying to keep her from leaving digging her nails in your arms cursing us she always got her way and she always came home all beat up...hanging out smokin a little something talking laughing trying to be normal when life just won't have it...I miss my brother so much because he is all I have and I fear something will happen and he'll never know just how much I miss him his family we have scattered and my heart breaks.

This blog was inspired by a face book  post from my daughter to me this is not the song she posted Blurry Puddle of Mud...the meaning is the same. This is the song that makes me cry this blog was a little emotional for that reason. I don't speak of my siblings alot because they have all been absent except my brother I don't speak of him because his story breaks my heart and I can do nothing to help him.For now I pray that just maybe someday I will help him I will be waiting.

Dear God...

Amen.

Server by trade

In the business 23 years now. As a single mom this was the only way for me for many years it kept us comfortable. We moved a lot but we had each other we were never hungry and I often made room for fun times. Honestly this this is everything I could possibility ask for under the circumstances of my life.
Written by Lisa inspired by Tracy ...the server is judged from the moment the guest arrives if the hostess is rude the server is judged if the server is polite but slow he is judged if the cooks line crashes the server is judged if the manager dosent give into the demands of a guest whose probably having a bad day the server is judged with no tip. To have a bad day in the service industry has become the ordinary occurance weeks at a time I starve I can't even afford to be homeless! Do you know how many hours a week I work 3. 6 hours serving complaining guest serving his food while I fight to keep a roof over my head I'm thankful for one meal a day two on a good day.
In recent years I've witnessed the guest complete control they are quite literally always right at the expense of the server who could loose his job with enough complaints true or not?
I'm thinking I want out but what the hell will I do? Will I turn into a hermit as work is my social life which is what's kept me in the business this long. Soon my material nest and menopause mabe I should ponder awhile longer?

A Boy Named Tyke...

I wasn't going to include this photo because of how it came to me then after thinking about it for awhile I decided that I harbor no shame.When it came to me I was in a circle with my two other boys those of you who know what that means will understand the rest of the blog for those who don't know the experience was amazing!The photo is a mug shot marijuana under 20 grams! After receiving the photo I could see his place between my two boys I wonder what our lives would be like?...
    If by chance he ever finds this blog please don't be upset that I used this photo first it was the only one I have second don't be shamed by this as it can always be worse I know because I have been there.

A Boy Named Tyke

I have made so many mistakes creating a dark path not easily followed. In the midst of this path I am given a special boy named Tyke his story has kept the light on so I may have a clear vision of who I am and the truth in my heart. It dose not begin well to keep the humor alive I was messed up on drugs blacked out 3days came to with my ears pierced and pregnant by a man I would not have slept with otherwise as he was a junkie! Anyway I turned up pregnant living from hotel to hotel on s orange blossom tr in Orlando I'm homeless wit one child already what will I do. Two angels saved my life the first Linda she took me in and helped me pull myself together just another example of the many serrogates that raised me. Next Buffy...Tykes adopted mother. I gave them the gift of a son they gave me Buffy! She saved my life by simply acknowledging the fighter side of my character. She was like a life coach no matter how she finds me she only points out the awesome parts of whatever mess I've gotten myself into. We lost touch in 1998 and I miss my Buffy! As for the boy named Tyke he is a young man now lives not far from me I believe he already knows where I am the first move must be his as I made sure his search for me wouldn't be a need to know search it would be a just because search.
I look back now and I see why Buffy saw in me what I couldn't see myself I never once had a second thought giving Buffy. Alan my son just seeing the joy was enough to convince me that I was doing the right thing. Some day I will meet him as his birth mother and friend his mom is Buffy. I was able to give back to the serrogate seed that gives to me on a daily basis. I am thankful my God gave me this chance.

Diary of a single mom...*422

April 13 2012...soon my material nest will empty out I just turned 45 with nothing to show for my path outside my good spirit. Because of my faith in Christ and his book of revelations I also believe in Satan and he is the one who takes all that I have or dreamed of having. He can take from me every material thing I have he will never have my spirit because that belongs to my Christ.
     As a child I knew I would create great change in my own path...29:11 I'd marry my high school sweetheart we'd have a big family and a place to call home my children would only hear my mothers drunken stories of a horrid childhood with my own sober voice. They would NEVER take a blow to any part of their body they wold NEVER be spoken to as if they had no rights...this was my first promise to God my children first ALWAYS zero tolerance for any form of domestic violence...at the age of 18 I took the last blow to my head thankful it wasn't to late. If I did need proof that my God is real that would be it as every blow I took should have killed me!This was only the beginning of my journey along a dark cursed path it would seem as if I were plagued from birth as I still wear the name of another man that's not my father death of my blood father and my mothers broken spirit...this is all I know of family the gift of the surrogate seed if not for the many families outside my own that filled just the right void at just the right time keeping my passion for change alive. Of course my life doesn't work out as I planned it as a child...this is my legacy of a single moms work shirt inspired by Leslie and Casey2012...two pink butterflies white ribbon of sackcloth violence against women these girls were both beautiful young and hard working single moms a story I know to well.I feel the need to include them in my story because they justify my insisting on zero abuse of any kind.I will welcome any and all who come to me with good intent my nest is full of surrogates  if you ruffle the feathers in my open nest be prepared to fight for your life if that's what it takes to remove the conflict that's ruffling my feathers.  In the end  they are true witnesses to my character no matter how extreme my behavior gets no matter how dark or unknown the path ahead may seem if it keeps the abuse away from my children so be it. My high school sweetheart beat me up I've played so many head games I've gotten good at it...I most recently sent my mother packing with a domestic violence charge she is a mean selfish alcholic that refuses to change and exhausted every chance I'm willing to give her for the first time in 45 years I'm done with my mother. you can't save one who doesn't want to be saved she only wants someone to blame and full attention...she had literally consumed me when that day happened!
now for the men in my life there are none!I had only a few good experiences in my path before I decided I am better off alone. I could tell that story in one short bog but that's another day today is about why what have I accomplished and I struggle to answer those questions and more.I have separated  my existence into two parts material and spiritual otherwise I would have crumbled along time ago. Materially I am bankrupt  spiritually I empty out my material nest keeping my promise to God my children ...always come first.
     A mother to her only daughter...numbers 30:12...you are worthy and God will forgive you.
     A mother to her boys...numbers 32:23...your sin will surely find you out respect your wife and children and expect the same in return.
This is my final testimony as a single mom the revision to that childhood dream is taking me to other places that are in my heart. Religion?...I follow Christ with a passion for his truth.This is where my heart is taking me because God exposed the important meaning of ones right to have a place to exist without fear of being conquered .

A Mother and her only daughter...

A Mother and her two sons...

Dose God have a wife?...

If God created us in his image would it not be safe to believe he had a wife?As a mother myself I have to ask where do I fit into Gods master plan for why we all suffer the same sackcloth of corruption?
   Why was Eve chosen to fall first luring Adam to follow her? Why did Mary have to suffer a virgin birth raising her son with a serrogate?Why dose God hide her true spirit leaving little to no footprint in history? If by Gods grace we are never fatherless why would he leave us without a righteous mother? I have to believe my righteous creator has a plan for the female seed as a single mom of 3 my children are fatherless because of my zero tolerance for any form of domestic violence which goes way beyond the many blows Ive taken to my head as a child as an adult never again!
In my search for the answer to where do I fit in...Mother Nature this is Gods wife for it is the fine balance of time and nature that allows for all existence in eternity. She is the free will of choice and justice for choice made this is why she was chosen to take the blame and wear the sackcloth of shame and guilt in the end it's her justice that will set things right for our people. God doesn't put us on a path he creates us for the path. For every hardship there is a greater cause of awareness the power of the voice...through Christ God simply took his long time companion for his wife he is the coat of life that allows God to have a face for those who need a face. I myself am a big fan of the spirit once you find it I promise there is no doubt outside what you can't see!

  On this Easter I want to take a moment to thank Mary for her great sacrafice as a mother myself I can't imagine how this might hurt?As I suffer my sackcloth I know I am not alone a righteous creator must have a reason for why he allows it nothing else makes good sense.

Passion for my Christ

Easter...2012
  Passion for my Christ *4767two gentile witnesses to Father time's war with Satan's Six.The Holy war of good against evil.
I believe in destiny a master plan or blueprint of sackcloth that forms an example of a world without Gods sole authority. The gift of salvation has nothing to do with why God gave us Christ he came to suffer with us! I believe only a chosen few will know hell every man will have his own supernatural experience that drives him home to God. For most the angel whisper will bring him home a chosen few will never be lost in the first place. When I die my God won't have to remind me where I have been my deeds...I am already aware of my truth with a clear understanding of what I'm suppose to do with my great suffering or sackcloth!
    This holiday season I'd like to acknowledge the true suffering of Christ as I believe his coat of life wore the same blindfold with only a strong gut feeling telling him what he must do. I don't believe he knew his destiny only that he was special he was humble by nature he was a great man and a loving kind forgiving son of God.
God did not sacrifice his only son to save us from our sins he sent him to suffer with us then return to fight for us! When you view the Crucifixion this way it brings the passion for Christ to life. For me it just makes sense of why God allows sin and suffering in the first place including his own son. As you celebrate such a disturbing event and ask yourself why remember this is proof you are not forsaken God suffers with you when the time is just right for a complete understanding he will reveal why.
According to King James Genesis 4004 BCE we just crossed over Satan's Six...1996=6000...1997=6.1
God gave Satan a 6 not a 6.1 the first phase of his 7...greater than 6 but less than 7...*67 the second gentile 1967=Jewish State of Israel...the time has come! My theory 12- 21 not the end of the world as Satan wants us to believe but rather the beginning of his end. I believe also Armageddon is rapture the holy ghost of Christ will empower us to take back all the good taken in Satan's aftermath!God is real and he is already here!

Maiden Ferguson...Pink Butterfly

My only proof my God is real...my dream lore relationship with my father.Now that i am older I cant imagine my life without a God! I feel for those who believe in nothing how scary to believe this is it! I am a single mom of 3 the grass isn't greener on this side but I don't have to worry with the elements that threaten the one sprig of green left in my yard. As long as i protect that with my life a little water will ensure the grass can come back.Left with no choice I now practice abstinence I refuse to believe marriage is suppose to be miserable I refuse to believe I'm suppose to tolerate...id rather be alone. Soon my nest will empty out I have nothing to show for my life except my good spirit which I wouldn't change for anything material.My God gave me a clean spirit to care for I will take that same clean spirit with me to the other side the dream lore just like my father.

The serrogate...Green

Family... this is what its all about to restore peace to a community torn apart by a personal event that didn't really concern them. they were brought in through a lie that's now an infection! whomever said words cant hurt you lied you can destroy a persons life until they wish they were dead even convince them the world would be a better place ect...in this photo there is a very special person missing. the presence of her angel whisper leaves me speechless! if you will notice where she would probably be standing is a picture of Marilyn Monroe how suited is that. She truly believed taking her own life was the only solution unaware of just how many people loved her I don't think she saw the greatness in her good spirit...they are not better off without her and now she has unfinished business?,,,where do I fit in all this I am witness to the power of the angel whisper by way of my fathers strong place in my life...to me it all makes sense the mystery of the pink butterfly the single mom?

As I watch her children grow up without her their story saves my life every day as I am a survivor of the yellow ribbon because of her Iwant to keep it that way. My name is Lisa Lynn i am a single mom of 3. 

Dreamlore...2009~2012

The message behind this song speaks for itself ...we will destroy ourselves well before science says the sun will consume us.the great point of this blog two voices opposite sides of the fence giving testimony of this great reality.Not long after he passed he came to me in a dream as he takes me through a huge dark house theres trash and bums everywhere he seems desperate to tell me something but he cant finally we enter the last room its really small but spotless with a diamond shaped bed white pillows blankets suddenly a hand reaches out from the blanket and grabs a bag of Doritos/ i wake up! I have no doubt its this message he wanted me to find i suspect the end of the dream  may have another meaning but that will come at just the right moment .

In support of the green ribbon both our earth and spirit we must become aware we must care we must act now!

Hand of God

The sky offers a sense or presence of God beyond our modern light there lies a universe that I believe could not exist without the righteous balance of a creator with reason for why it is so violent.we live in a world full of violence the sky offers hope that I would not know otherwise.If God cares enough to keep an eternity of conflict in a beautiful universe then he must care for me too

Gods rainbow

With every tear I cry there is a rainbow of reason and hope.good fortune for me has nothing to do with a pot of gold my pot has a sense of peace and self worth this is the good fortune I hope to find at the end of Gods rainbow.

My calling...*67

Domestic violence leads to self affliction which is a severe wolf cry of suicide.This one great plague on our people breaks down into many other ribbon colors...all of which i have experienced both direct and indirect physical mental emotional...it would seem to have no end.I count my blessings that cancer only had a face over the last couple of years showing my respect with a passion for pink yellow all cancer which is also suicide awareness ahd prevention. As I travel my path my sackcloth is my environment
I face violence in the extreme but in the end I do have the ability to fight back. domestic violence is a senseless crime well within our control we can be free of this moral plague we can ....
TO come together as one and agree zero tolerance for any kind of domestic violence. As a community every family counts we get involved  to see life through the eyes of our children they are people too what we teach today will come to pass in tomorrow.
I am passionate about my cause my story isn't a pretty one but my will to survive I hope will inspire others to see the greatness of this one cause of action. Can you imagine a world without domestic violence? As a survivor I can only pray for my children by my Gods grace they will defeat the beast of violence..

conflict

We exist in a world of constant conflict a never ending cycle of good against good and evil. since the beginning of time as we know it war has been a reality. i feel for those who believe there is no righteous force in control of this frightening truth.

I want to give thanks to the members of disturbed for inspiring my own voice! to seek peace without fear of nessisary conflict.when all attempts to passively resist fail aggressively pusue what is right in the whole community.its not about what it is why.

Territory

the fight for a place to call home in a world that is over populated. My God has great reason for why i must fight the battles of homelessness for why i must endure for the purpose of building tolerance?...my own battle has gave me a new view of my Gods war with Satan over territory it is a true battle of good against evil and a question of righteous authority.My God is that righteous force i now understand the violence as Satan's wrath has no end outside Gods greater wrath.there is one small area in this temple that belongs to God and his Christ to us he gives the rest and beyond.

1579 Findlay st ...*67. i lost my battle leaving me scattered living on borrowed time will i ever find that one spot that belongs to me ? as my nest empties out i am tired i only want to be still and enjoy the new family tree that's evolved out of my dark history of sackcloth.

I wait patiently for the restoration of this temple  the sounding of the seventh trumpet...Satan isn't going down without a fight to the good stand firm to the evil you're maker is here and he isn't happy with your deeds.We are the first generation of soldiers for the final war Armageddon Stan's demise.

Balance

as i sit here tonight ...my material nest will soon empty out what will i do i know nothing else. since i was a small child i had it all planned out visions of a family portrait that never happened, with all my good intent and good will to my fellow man it would seem as if he could care a less it would seem as if hard work doesn't matter as if i don't deserve a family a home stability...because i am a single mom and cant possibly keep up with my own life .i have raised 3children 3 abusive relationships to end up with the only one i married who stole my house simply because he could.i am now homeless with little hope outside my faith i struggle to get through my last child and pray my God has bigger plans for me. do i have any regrets no my environment created odds i couldn't possibly beat. with every revision of my childhood dream there was always hope ...
the first  a material father for my family by the grace of God we are never fatherless i will raise my family with the same spiritual father that raised me. this revision came with ease until i made the mistake i can never make right a denial of instinct that had never failed me before . he conned me i caught him i take my share of blame for why this happened to me i am bankrupt because i allowed it dose that give him the right to leave us homeless is he allowed to do and say as he pleases dose he have the right to terrorize a single mom and her two small boys he stole our house because there is no physical violence and i cant catch him in the act he isn't the criminal i am standing up for myself seems to be the crime.the next two revisions go together home and stability... if by Gods grace i am never fatherless why would he leave me without a mother natures wrath will restore the balance this man has taken from me.for it is the fine balance of time and nature that allow us to exist.

Easter Inspiration

I am a true christian gentile a blind follower of a God i can not see but feel in a way that needs no sight. by his grace i live in a country that allows me to follow any God i choose how i follow when i fellowship...i choose in free will the holy ghost of christ with his great book of Revelations i fellowship every minute of my life  with family friends coworkers...*67 maiden ferguson wimmer.

he firstcame as a humble jesus God jn the flesh here to suffer along side his people as he would not ask of us what he is not willing to give himself.he is not coming on fluffy white clouds with harps and angels we are nowhere near ready for that. he is already here he came as a thief on a dark storm cloud with the thundering sounds of an electric guitar and an army of angel whispers here to restore balance to our inviroment

my Jesus is now my Christ he dose not expect i lie passively while he dose all the work he expects i will do my part.i dont need a God to define me i need a God to support and defend my good character as satan temps me on a daily basis. 

in the spirit of these three crosses i say every man will have his day with God no man is exe .

My Mother My Name

I am a second generation maiden wimmer in defence of three blue butterflies...my mother was the oldest of 3 children and only survivor of unspeakable acts of child abuse at the hands of her father. my mothers drunken voice kept her little brothers story alive i only now understand her drunken voice was the vice that allowed her to tell the story in detail. Frances David Charles wimmer if i could save one child by telling your story the heavy burden of your sackcloth will be lifted.
my mother passes down to me 3 angel whispers soon she will join them and finally know peace i will keep both names alive.
David the oldest he left remnants 5 children yo carry on his name.
Charles left nothing if not for my mothers drunken voice his story would never be told.
the blue butterfly marks the beginning of the great event that left me homeless 12-2-98 the conman and a house *122 birthday two blue butterflies. my mother...45 years of my own survivors guilt trying to save her life to find if i don't let her go she will take me with her.as long as she insist on being a victim she will never know the rapture of survival.
i am the seed to a new family tree to pull my history forward create examples of what where how great change must happen if we seek a paradise.
Ferguson Wimmer pink butterfly of hope...ribbons of sackcloth purple-domestic violence self affliction
blue-child abuse victims rights  yellow-suicide awareness prevention.to know the rapture of survival one must only make that choice i choose life!Satan can take what he wants of my material life he cant have my spirit unless give it to him.

My Father My Name

it all begins in the dream lore of my fathers feather pillow... i was 3 he was 23 when God removed his coat of life leaving behind a martyred remnant of his name and the powerful angel whispers of his voice. I am his oldest daughter given the spirit of that voice' 
Boyd Gene Ferguson 1947 ~ 1971 Roanoke Va ...
drafted into Vietnam he breaks down for fear his name will die naming my sister Jean Boyd before he is discharged 1971 he is shot 6 times in the back found in a dumpster with his buddy for being in the wrong place at the wrong time then buried on his only sons first birthday named after his father James lee. 
I am Lisa Lynn with just as much of my fathers blood as my brother as maidens my boys will carry his name into the future where it will be restored to its naturally good character. to carry on ones name has nothing to do with blood but rather the power of his voice. 
this is the powerful voice of my fathers true living spirit meant to catch the attention of all who hear it. in retrospect... my father has been warning and reassuring me through the dream lore my whole life. as a child a reoccurring dream i found was a memory of my first move to date 56 times and i am homeless .1993 he warns me of the event that left me little to no hope for a recovery.2002 reassurance of a purple butterfly i am in a moving light with millions of butterflies it is so bright i can only see shadows as the light moves forward suddenly we stop a huge purple butterfly consumes the light with sheer flowing wings as curtains on a windy day allowing nothing to pass through to the other side... i wake with a sense of great peace in the midst of the greatest conflict i have ever known.

The inspiration of this story a mans name only dies if no one cares to keep his voice alive. the spirit has no end our loved ones linger with us serving great purpose in Gods habitat which i believe is in the dream lore.